Disagreeing and Giving Feedback While Keeping Harmony.
Singlish for Living and Working in Singapore. Lesson 10.
In Singapore, people value harmony and face, but that does not mean you must always agree. In this lesson, you practise the delicate skill of saying I do not fully agree or this is not working yet in a way that still sounds supportive. You work through two key scenes: a one to one feedback conversation with a colleague whose work is late, and a meeting moment where you need to question a suggested plan. You notice how small phrases such as I’m a bit concerned and maybe next time can send earlier soften the message, and how body language and tone support the words. You also learn how to receive feedback without becoming defensive, using short acknowledgement phrases common in Singapore offices. By the end, you can give and receive feedback, raise concerns and gently challenge ideas while protecting relationships in your multicultural team.
1. Scene 1: A late report and a feedback chat.
Let’s jump straight into a very typical Singapore office moment. Imagine you are Priya, a regional manager who has just moved to Singapore. One of your analysts, Jason, is smart and hardworking, but he sent an important client deck very late last night. Because of that, you had to stay online much longer than planned to check everything. Now you want to give him feedback in a short one to one chat. In Singapore, you want to be honest, but you also want to protect harmony and not embarrass him. On the screen, you will see and later hear a short conversation between Priya and Jason. Listen for two things. First, what is the actual problem. Second, which phrases help to soften the message, so it does not sound like a direct scolding. After listening, I will ask you to explain what happened in your own words, and to identify some of the softening phrases you noticed.
Your role: Priya, new manager in Singapore.
You are Priya, a regional manager who joined a Singapore team two months ago. Your analyst, Jason, usually delivers good work, but his latest client report came in very late, and you had to rush to fix it.
You decide to call him for a quick feedback chat.
Sample 1-to-1 feedback conversation.
Read through this short dialogue first. Then you will listen to an audio version.
> Priya: Hi Jason, can I check with you a bit about the client deck from yesterday?
>
> Jason: Sure, boss. Everything ok?
>
> Priya: Overall very good, just a few small points. I really appreciate the analysis, very detailed. But I’m a bit concerned about the timing.
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> Jason: Oh, was too late, is it?
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> Priya: Ya, we received from you around 10.30pm. Maybe next time can send a bit earlier? I had to stay online quite late to review.
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> Jason: Ah, sorry sorry. Yesterday the data came in very last minute.
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> Priya: I understand, sometimes like that one. Next time, if you see it will be delayed, can just drop me a quick message earlier, can?
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> Jason: Can, sure. Thanks for telling me.
>
> Priya: No worries. Overall your work is strong. Let’s just see how we can improve the timing, so it’s better for everyone.
What is happening here?.
Notice how Priya balances honesty and harmony:
She starts with something positive: “Overall very good, just a few small points” and “I really appreciate the analysis”.
She uses softening phrases before the negative point: “I’m a bit concerned about…”, “Maybe next time can…”.
She offers a future-focused suggestion, not just criticism: “Next time, if you see it will be delayed, can just drop me a quick message earlier, can?”.
She ends with a team spirit message: “Let’s just see how we can improve together.”
This is very typical in Singapore: the message is clear, but the tone is gentle, and the relationship is protected.
In a moment, you will listen to the same conversation and describe it in your own words.
Practice & Feedback
Listen carefully to the short feedback conversation between Priya and Jason. Then, write one short paragraph (about 5–7 sentences) answering these questions in your own words:
What is the main problem that Priya needs to talk about?
Which two or three phrases does she use to soften her feedback and keep harmony?
How does Jason respond to the feedback? Does he sound defensive, or open?
You do not need to copy the dialogue exactly. Use your own words and your own sentence structure. Focus on showing that you understand:
the situation,
the tone,
and the key phrases used for soft, Singapore-style feedback.
Write in clear English. Don’t worry if your answer is not perfect; this is for practice. I will respond with comments on your understanding and on your language choices.
2. Noticing soft feedback language.
Now that you have a feel for Priya and Jason’s conversation, let’s slow down and zoom in on the actual words that make the feedback feel softer. In many cultures, we might say things quite directly, for example, "You were too late" or "This is not acceptable." In Singapore, people do use direct language sometimes, but in ongoing working relationships, especially with colleagues you want to keep, you will often hear lighter phrasing like, "I’m a bit concerned" or "Maybe next time can send earlier." These small changes make a big difference to how your message feels. On the screen, you will see a table comparing blunt sentences with more Singapore-style softened versions. Take your time to read the examples. Then you will practise turning a few direct feedback sentences into softer ones, still keeping the message very clear. This is a key skill for giving feedback while protecting harmony and face.
Softening your feedback without losing the message.
Earlier, you saw how Priya used gentle language even when she was not happy about the timing. Let’s look more closely at this kind of softening.
Here is a comparison:
Very direct / blunt
Softer, Singapore-style version
You were too late with the report.
I’m a bit concerned about the timing of the report.
This is not acceptable.
This part is not so ideal; maybe we can improve it.
You didn’t follow the brief.
Some parts may not fully match the brief.
You must send on time.
Next time, can try to send a bit earlier, can?
Your analysis is weak.
The analysis overall is okay, but some points can be stronger.
Common softening phrases.
Notice these patterns:
"I’m a bit concerned about…" – signals a problem, but sounds less harsh than "I’m very unhappy about…".
"Maybe next time can…" – points to a future improvement instead of scolding the past.
"This part not so clear / not so ideal" – still negative, but less heavy than "wrong".
"Overall very good, just a few small points" – starts with appreciation, then moves to suggestions.
"Let’s see how we can improve together" – shows team spirit and future focus.
Try it: rewrite to soften.
Look at these direct feedback sentences and think how you would soften them in a Singapore-style office.
"You didn’t check the numbers carefully."
"Your slide design is messy."
"You always send things too late."
"This report is not good."
In the task below, you will rewrite these four sentences using:
at least one appreciation phrase (for example, "Overall very good…"),
at least two softening phrases from the list above, or from the first dialogue,
and a future-focused suggestion (for example, "Next time can…").
Practice & Feedback
Rewrite the four direct feedback sentences from the table above into softer, Singapore-style feedback. Write them as if you are speaking to a colleague you want to keep a good relationship with.
Please:
Keep the same basic meaning, but change the tone.
Use at least two softening patterns, such as:
"I’m a bit concerned about…"
"Maybe next time can…"
"This part not so clear / not so ideal."
"Overall very good, just a few small points."
Add at least one future suggestion, not just criticism.
Write your answers as a numbered list (1–4), one sentence or short mini-paragraph for each point. Aim for 1–3 sentences per item, so you have space to include appreciation, the issue, and the suggestion.
Don’t worry if it feels a bit long. Focus on sounding clear but polite, like Priya in the earlier scene. I will then comment on how natural and effective your softening is, and suggest small upgrades.
You didn’t check the numbers carefully.
Your slide design is messy.
You always send things too late.
This report is not good.
3. Writing a follow up message after feedback.
In real life, feedback often does not end with a short conversation. Many Singaporean managers will also send a quick follow up message, either by email or chat, to confirm what was discussed and to keep the tone friendly. This is especially useful if you are new to the culture and you want to be very clear, but also very respectful. On the screen, you will see a sample email that Priya could send Jason after their chat. Notice how she keeps it short, positive and future-focused. She does not repeat every detail, but she confirms the key point about timing and shows appreciation for his work. After reading the model, you will write your own short follow up message, either as an email or as a Teams or WhatsApp-style note, based on a similar situation in your own work. This will help you turn spoken feedback into clear, written support.
Why send a follow up message?.
After a feedback chat, a short written message can:
confirm the main point and any next steps,
keep the relationship warm, especially if the topic was sensitive,
create a light record without sounding like a formal warning.
In Singapore, these messages are usually short and efficient, but still polite.
Sample follow up email from Priya to Jason.
> Subject: Yesterday’s client deck
>
> Hi Jason,
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> Thanks again for your hard work on the deck yesterday. The analysis was very detailed and the client will appreciate it.
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> As we discussed, I’m a bit concerned about the timing. Since it came in quite late, I had to review everything at night.
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> Next time, if you see the data is delayed, can just drop me a quick note earlier and we adjust together, can?
>
> Overall, good work. Let’s see how we can improve the timeline for future decks.
>
> Thanks,
>
> Priya
Useful patterns from this email.
Opening appreciation: “Thanks again for your hard work… The analysis was very detailed.”
Soft problem statement: “As we discussed, I’m a bit concerned about the timing.”
Reason / impact: “Since it came in quite late, I had to review everything at night.”
Future suggestion: “Next time… can just drop me a quick note earlier and we adjust together, can?”
Positive closing: “Overall, good work. Let’s see how we can improve…”
In the task, you will write your own follow up message. You can stay with Priya and Jason, or you can imagine a similar colleague in your own team.
Practice & Feedback
Write a short follow up message after giving feedback, similar to Priya’s email.
You have two options:
Stay with the same story: You are Priya, writing to Jason about the late client deck.
Use your own context: Imagine a real colleague in your work whose deliverable was late, unclear, or not fully following the brief.
Your message can be in email format or as a short chat message (Teams/WhatsApp/Slack). Aim for 80–140 words.
Include these elements:
1–2 sentences of appreciation.
1–2 sentences clearly but softly stating the issue.
1–2 sentences with future-focused suggestions or next steps.
A friendly closing line.
Try to reuse at least two phrases from earlier, for example: "I’m a bit concerned about…", "Maybe next time can…", "Overall very good, just a few small points", "Let’s see how we can improve together." I will give you feedback on clarity, tone and naturalness.
Subject: Yesterday’s client deck
Hi Jason,
Thanks again for your hard work on the deck yesterday. The analysis was very detailed and the client will appreciate it.
As we discussed, I’m a bit concerned about the timing. Since it came in quite late, I had to review everything at night.
Next time, if you see the data is delayed, can just drop me a quick note earlier and we adjust together, can?
Overall, good work. Let’s see how we can improve the timeline for future decks.
Thanks,
Priya
4. Scene 2: Questioning a plan in a meeting.
Giving one to one feedback is only half the story. The other common challenge is disagreeing in a group meeting, especially when a plan or timeline feels risky. In Singapore, many people are careful not to embarrass others in front of the group, so disagreement is often expressed in gentle ways. You might hear phrases like, "I’m not so sure about this part" or "Maybe the timeline is a bit aggressive." On the screen, you will see a short meeting scene with Priya, her Singaporean boss Mei Lin, and Jason. Mei Lin suggests a very tight deadline. Priya feels concerned. Read the dialogue and pay attention to how she raises her concern. After reading, you will write what you would say in Priya’s place to question the plan while still sounding supportive and respectful.
Meeting scene: A very tight timeline.
You are in a weekly project meeting. Present:
Mei Lin – your Singaporean boss
Priya – you, regional manager
Jason – analyst
Mei Lin wants to push a new feature to the client very quickly.
Dialogue.
> Mei Lin: Ok, so for this feature, I think we can launch to the client next Wednesday.
>
> Jason: Next Wednesday ah? That’s quite fast.
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> Mei Lin: Ya, but client is pushing. Can or not?
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> Priya: Thanks, Mei Lin. Just to confirm, next Wednesday means we have three working days to prepare, right?
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> Mei Lin: Correct.
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> Priya: I’m a bit concerned the timeline may be a bit aggressive. The data side still has some open points.
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> Mei Lin: Hmm. You think really cannot?
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> Priya: Maybe we can consider moving to Friday instead? That gives us two more days to check the numbers properly.
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> Jason: Friday sounds more realistic to me also.
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> Mei Lin: Ok lah, let’s target Friday, but try not to slip further, can?
Language to notice.
Look at how Priya questions the plan:
She starts with a neutral confirmation question: “Just to confirm, next Wednesday means we have three working days…?”
She uses soft concern language: “I’m a bit concerned the timeline may be a bit aggressive.”
She offers a specific alternative: “Maybe we can consider moving to Friday instead?”
She links her concern to a clear reason: “…gives us two more days to check the numbers properly.”
This helps the boss see that Priya is not just being negative. She is taking care of quality and risk.
Your turn: step into Priya’s role.
In the task below, you will write what you would say as Priya in this meeting. You will keep the same situation, but you can choose your own words. Try to:
show respect to Mei Lin,
express a clear concern,
and suggest a realistic alternative.
Practice & Feedback
Imagine you are Priya in this meeting with Mei Lin and Jason. Mei Lin has just said: "Ok, so for this feature, I think we can launch to the client next Wednesday." You feel the timeline is too tight.
Write 4–6 sentences that you would say in this moment.
Include:
1 sentence to confirm or clarify the timeline.
1–2 sentences expressing your concern using soft phrases like "I’m a bit concerned…", "It may be a bit aggressive", "I’m not so sure about this part".
1–2 sentences suggesting a different date or approach and giving a reason (for example, risk, quality, client expectations).
1 sentence showing you still want to support the project (for example, "Of course we will try our best to keep things moving.").
You do not need to write the whole meeting, just your part. Imagine you are really speaking to your boss in Singapore. I will review your wording, check the tone, and suggest how to make it even more natural for a Singapore-style meeting.
Key phrases from the meeting:
Just to confirm, next Wednesday means we have three working days to prepare, right?
I’m a bit concerned the timeline may be a bit aggressive.
Maybe we can consider moving to Friday instead?
That gives us two more days to check the numbers properly.
Ok lah, let’s target Friday, but try not to slip further, can?
5. Chatting when you receive feedback.
So far, you have focused on giving feedback and raising concerns. The other side of harmony in Singapore offices is how you **receive** feedback. When someone gives you comments, especially a boss, they are watching your reaction very closely. If you become defensive, argue, or go silent, they may feel it is hard to be honest next time. If you can acknowledge the feedback calmly, they will usually feel more comfortable with you. On the screen, you will see some very typical short replies Singaporeans use in chats when they receive feedback, such as "Noted, thanks for the feedback" or "Ok, I’ll improve next round." You will also see a short WhatsApp-style exchange between Priya and Jason after their call. Then, you will join a mini chat simulation and write your replies as if you are Jason receiving feedback from Priya. This will help you practise sounding open and professional, even when the message is not 100% positive.
Receiving feedback: short, calm acknowledgements.
In Singapore, people often show they accept feedback with short, neutral replies, especially in chat. The tone is:
calm,
respectful,
and future-focused.
Common acknowledgement phrases.
"Noted, thanks for the feedback."
"Ok, I understand. I’ll improve for the next round."
"Thanks for pointing this out."
"Ya, I see the issue. Next time I’ll send earlier."
"Appreciate the comments, will adjust."
"Thanks, I’ll take note."
These are simple but powerful. They show you are listening and not fighting back.
Sample WhatsApp chat: Priya and Jason.
> Priya: Hi Jason, thanks again for the deck just now. Overall very good, just the timing a bit tight.
>
> Jason: Noted, thanks for the feedback.
>
> Priya: Next time if you see the data is delayed, can just drop me a quick message earlier, can?
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> Jason: Ok, I understand. Next time I’ll update you earlier.
>
> Priya: No worries, appreciate your hard work.
>
> Jason: Thanks boss, I’ll improve for the next round.
Notice Jason does not explain again and again why it was late. He gives short acknowledgements and promises improvement.
In the task below, you will act as Jason in a similar chat and write your own replies message by message.
Practice & Feedback
You are now Jason, replying to Priya on WhatsApp after she gave you feedback about the late deck.
I will imagine that Priya writes you four short messages:
She thanks you for your hard work but mentions the timing was quite late.
She asks you to update her earlier next time if you see a delay.
She says she appreciates your effort and wants to improve together.
She asks if the new process is clear.
Your task:
Write a chat-style reply from Jason for each of these four messages.
Use separate lines for each reply, like a real chat.
Keep each reply short, 1–2 sentences.
Include at least three acknowledgement phrases, for example: "Noted, thanks for the feedback", "Ok, I understand", "I’ll improve for the next round", "Thanks, I’ll take note".
Focus on sounding open, polite and not defensive. I will answer as if I am Priya, and then give you comments on your language and tone.
Useful acknowledgement phrases:
Noted, thanks for the feedback.
Ok, I understand. I’ll improve for the next round.
Thanks for pointing this out.
Ya, I see the issue. Next time I’ll send earlier.
Appreciate the comments, will adjust.
Thanks, I’ll take note.
6. Mini capstone: Your feedback and disagreement script.
You have now explored two key moments: a one to one feedback chat about late work, and a meeting where you need to question a tight timeline. You have also practised softening your language and responding calmly when you receive feedback. For this final block, I’d like you to put everything together in a small capstone task. On the screen, you will see a simple checklist to guide you. Your job is to write two short scripts. First, a short one to one feedback conversation, based on Priya and Jason or your own workplace. Second, a short meeting contribution where you raise a concern about a plan or timeline. This is your chance to design language you can really use in your next Singapore work conversation. Take your time, think about tone, and try to include some of the key phrases we have practised, like "I’m a bit concerned", "Maybe next time can…", and "Let’s see how we can improve together."
Bringing it all together.
To finish this lesson, you will design your own language for two situations:
A 1-to-1 feedback conversation about work quality, timing or clarity.
A meeting moment where you disagree with a plan or timeline.
You can stay with Priya and Jason and Mei Lin, or you can switch to people from your real workplace.
Checklist: good Singapore-style feedback and disagreement.
Try to include these elements in your scripts:
Appreciation and face-saving
One or two lines of genuine praise or thanks.
Example: "Overall very good, just a few small points." / "I appreciate your hard work on this."
Clear, but softened problem statement
Use phrases like:
"I’m a bit concerned about…"
"This part not so clear for the client."
"The timeline may be a bit aggressive."
Reason and impact
Explain why it is a problem: risk, quality, client expectations, team workload.
Future-focused suggestion
Example: "Maybe next time can send a bit earlier?" / "Maybe we can consider moving to Friday instead?"
Team spirit closing
Example: "Let’s see how we can improve together." / "Of course we’ll try our best to keep things moving."
Your two mini scripts.
In the task below, you will write:
Part A – 1-to-1 feedback (about 8–12 lines):
Write it like a short transcript, with names:
You:
Colleague:
Focus on one real issue (for example, late report, unclear slides, missing data).
Show appreciation, state the problem softly, add reason, and give a suggestion.
Part B – Meeting disagreement (about 4–6 sentences):
Write what you would say in a meeting when you are not fully comfortable with a plan or timeline.
Show that you understand the goal, then raise your concern and suggest an alternative.
This is your chance to create a practical script you could revise and actually use at work.
Practice & Feedback
Create your own scripts for giving feedback and disagreeing while keeping harmony.
Please write two parts in your answer, and label them clearly:
Part A – 1-to-1 feedback (8–12 lines)
Choose a real or realistic situation (for example, late report, messy slides, poor email to client).
Write it like a mini dialogue script, showing each turn on a new line, for example:
You:
Colleague:
Include:
1–2 lines of appreciation or praise.
A clear but softened problem statement (use phrases like "I’m a bit concerned…", "This part not so clear.").
A reason/impact.
1–2 future-focused suggestions ("Maybe next time can…").
A friendly, team-focused closing ("Let’s see how we can improve together.").
Part B – Meeting disagreement (4–6 sentences)
Write what you would say in a meeting when you think a timeline or plan is risky.
Use soft disagreement language ("I’m not so sure about this part", "The timeline may be a bit aggressive.").
Suggest an alternative and give a short reason.
Do not worry if it is not perfect. Use this as a chance to design your own Singapore-ready phrases. I will give you detailed feedback and a polished version you can keep as a reference.
