Handling Difficult Conversations and Feedback Discussions.

Some of the most challenging moments at work involve giving or receiving difficult messages. In this lesson you will work with scenarios such as a manager giving constructive feedback, a colleague raising a complaint and a team member admitting a mistake. You will notice how successful speakers prepare the ground, use softening language, separate the person from the problem and focus on future solutions. You will learn practical phrases for giving balanced feedback, responding to criticism calmly, apologising appropriately and clarifying expectations. Reading and listening tasks will highlight cultural differences in directness and how this affects tone. You will then plan and role play a difficult conversation from your own context, using simple checklists to keep your language professional and respectful. By the end, you will feel more able to manage uncomfortable discussions in English without avoiding them or becoming too direct.

1. Listening to a difficult feedback conversation.

In this first part of the lesson, I would like you to step into a very typical but uncomfortable situation at work. Imagine you are in an international company, and your manager needs to give you feedback because an important client report was delivered late. Nobody is shouting, nobody is angry, but the conversation is still sensitive. In a moment, you will listen to a short dialogue between Maya, the manager, and Jonas, her team member. As you listen, do not worry about understanding every single word. Focus on how Maya organises the conversation and how both people speak to each other. Notice how Maya opens the discussion, how she combines positive comments with the problem, and how she explains the impact without attacking Jonas as a person. Also, listen for phrases that sound soft and diplomatic, such as when she introduces the issue or asks questions. Finally, pay attention to how they move towards solutions and next steps so the conversation finishes in a constructive way. After you have listened, you will write a short summary of the main issue and the actions they agree. You can listen more than once if you like before you answer.

Scenario: feedback after a missed deadline.

In this lesson, we will follow one realistic situation from different angles. Our main story is about a manager, Maya, and her team member, Jonas, who work at an international company called GlobalMetrics.

Last week, Jonas delivered a client report later than planned. The client was not happy, and Maya now needs to give Jonas some constructive feedback. She wants to protect the relationship with the client, support Jonas, and avoid making him feel attacked.

In the audio for this block, you will hear their conversation in Maya's office.

When you listen, try to notice this basic structure:

1. Opening and purpose – Maya starts the conversation and explains why she wants to talk.
2. Positive feedback – she starts with something Jonas did well.
3. The main issue and impact – she explains clearly what went wrong and why it matters.
4. Jonas' perspective – she asks questions and listens.
5. Future solutions – together they agree concrete actions.

Here are some useful phrases you will hear in the conversation:

• "I would like to give you some feedback on the Johnson report."
• "First of all, I really appreciate the way you managed the client calls."
• "From my point of view, the main issue is that the final version came in after the agreed deadline."
• "Can you help me understand what happened?"
• "Going forward, it would be helpful if you could share a draft earlier in the week."
• "So we agree that from now on you will..., and I will..."

These phrases help Maya to separate the person from the problem and focus on the future, not just on what went wrong.

Listen to the conversation once just to get the general idea. Then listen again and try to follow this structure in your head: opening → positives → issue → impact → solutions. This will help you later when you plan your own difficult conversations.

When you feel ready, answer the task at the bottom of this block.

Practice & Feedback

Listen carefully to the conversation between Maya and Jonas. You can play the audio two or three times if you need. First listen for the general idea, then focus on the details: What exactly is the problem, and what do they decide to do about it?

When you are ready, write 3–4 sentences in your own words answering these questions:

1. What is the main issue that Maya raises with Jonas?
2. What future actions and next steps do they agree?

Do not worry about perfect grammar, but try to:

• use clear, complete sentences;
• mention both the problem and the solutions;
• include any useful phrases you remember from the dialogue.

Imagine you are explaining the situation to a colleague who did not join the meeting.

2. Noticing softening and future focused language.

Now that you have listened to Maya and Jonas, let us look more closely at the exact words Maya chooses. In difficult conversations, **what you say** is important, but **how you say it** often makes the difference between a defensive reaction and a constructive one. In this block, you will see short extracts from the transcript. Your job is to notice how Maya softens the message, separates the person from the problem and keeps the focus on the future rather than on blame. I will also show you some simple pairs, like a very direct version and a more diplomatic version of the same idea. As you read, pay attention to small words such as "from my point of view", "a bit" or "going forward". These are the kinds of phrases that help you sound professional and respectful, even when the content is negative. At the end, I will ask you to choose a few phrases that you would like to reuse in your own conversations. Think of this as building your personal phrase bank for sensitive topics.

How Maya softens the message.

In the audio, Maya does not simply say, "You were late and you made the meeting difficult." Instead, she uses language that is softer, more precise and more future focused.

Look at these key lines from her feedback:

> "From my point of view, the main issue is that the final version of the report came in after the agreed deadline."

>

> "Because of that, I had very little time to review it before the client meeting, and they had to wait during the call while we checked a few figures."

>

> "I do not want to blame anyone, the important thing is to fix this so it does not happen again."

>

> "Going forward, it would be helpful if you could share a draft earlier in the week."

Notice a few things:

• She says "From my point of view", which shows this is her perspective, not an absolute truth.
• She talks about "the main issue", not "your mistake".
• She explains the impact on the client, not just the rule that was broken.
• She explicitly separates the person from the problem: "I do not want to blame anyone, the important thing is to fix this."
• She focuses on future actions: "Going forward, it would be helpful if you could…"

Softer vs very direct versions.

Here are some common patterns you can adapt to your own situations:

Future focused feedback.

Effective feedback does not stay in the past. It moves towards specific next steps, for example:

• "Going forward, it would be helpful if you could share a draft earlier in the week."
• "So we agree that from now on you will send earlier drafts and communicate risks, and I will help you manage the deadlines."

These phrases show that you and the other person are working together on a solution.

Read the extract in the activity carefully and start collecting 3–4 phrases that you really like. These will be very useful when you have to give feedback in English.

Practice & Feedback

Read the short extract from Maya’s feedback in the resource carefully. Your aim is to notice and select useful language that you can reuse.

1. First, read the whole extract once for general understanding.
2. Then read it again and look for:

• phrases that soften the message or show it is your perspective;
• phrases that focus on the future and next steps.

In the box, write:

• Three softening or polite phrases (for example: "From my point of view…" but choose your own);
• One future focused phrase (for example: "Going forward, it would be helpful if…").

For each phrase, add one short sentence explaining why you find it useful or where you might use it in your job.

Try to copy the phrases exactly from the text. This will help you remember the correct wording and word order.

3. Responding calmly to constructive criticism.

So far we have focused on the manager giving feedback. In real life, you are often on the **other side** of the table. You are the person receiving criticism. This can feel uncomfortable, especially in a second language. Many people react in one of three ways: they become very defensive and start giving long explanations, they say almost nothing and look unhappy, or they agree with everything but do not really change their behaviour afterwards. In this block, we will practise a more professional way to respond. You will see how Jonas answers Maya in a calm and constructive style, and we will break that into simple steps you can copy. These include thanking the other person for the feedback, asking for clarification, explaining briefly what happened and agreeing on clear next steps. At the end, you will write a short response as if you were Jonas in this situation. Try to imagine you are in his place and you want to show that you are open, responsible and ready to improve.

How to respond when you receive feedback.

Receiving feedback is a skill. A calm, professional response can really improve your reputation at work, even when the message is negative.

A useful structure is:

1. Acknowledge and thank
2. Clarify the issue
3. Give a brief explanation (not a long list of excuses)
4. Accept responsibility and agree next steps

Look at two different versions of Jonas’s reaction.

Version A – defensive and unhelpful.

> "I do not think it was such a big problem. The client always changes their mind anyway. Also, I had three other projects last week and nobody helped me. It is not really my fault that the deadline was unrealistic."

This version:

• does not thank Maya for the feedback;
• does not show he understands the impact on the client;
• sounds defensive and focuses on blame.

Version B – calm and constructive.

> "Thank you for the feedback, I appreciate you telling me. I can see how the delay made the meeting more stressful for you and for the client. I am sorry for the inconvenience this caused. I underestimated how long the final section would take, and I did not signal the risk early enough. Going forward, I will send you a draft earlier in the week and let you know as soon as I see any timing issues."

This version includes many of the phrases from our chunk bank for this lesson:

• "Thank you for being honest about this."
• "I am sorry for the inconvenience this has caused."
• "That was not my intention, what I meant was…"
• "Going forward, it would be helpful if…" / "Going forward, I will…"

It also follows the four steps:

1. Acknowledge and thank: "Thank you for the feedback, I appreciate you telling me."
2. Clarify the issue: "I can see how the delay made the meeting more stressful…"
3. Brief explanation: "I underestimated how long… and I did not signal the risk."
4. Next steps: "Going forward, I will send you a draft earlier…"

In the task, you will write your own version of Jonas’s response using this structure.

Practice & Feedback

Imagine you are Jonas in the conversation with Maya. She has just said:

> "From my point of view, the main issue is that the final version of the report came in after the agreed deadline. Because of that, I had very little time to review it before the client meeting, and they had to wait while we checked a few figures. Going forward, it would be helpful if you could share a draft earlier in the week."

Your task is to write a calm, professional response of about 4–6 sentences.

Try to:

• thank her for the feedback;
• show that you understand the impact on her and on the client;
• give a brief explanation without blaming other people;
• apologise appropriately;
• propose 1–2 clear future actions, starting with phrases like "Going forward, I will…" or "From now on, I will…".

Use some of the language from the examples on the screen. Imagine you are really in Jonas’s position and you want to show maturity and responsibility.

4. Apologising and proposing concrete solutions.

Difficult conversations are not only about performance reviews. Very often they start because someone raises a complaint about a specific mistake. For example, a colleague from another department discovers an error in your figures, or a client experiences a problem because of something your team did or did not do. In those moments, a simple "sorry" is usually not enough. In this block, we will shift the focus slightly. You will hear a short voicemail from Lina, a sales colleague, who has discovered a mistake in a presentation you prepared. Then you will practise writing a professional email to apologise and propose concrete actions. When you listen to Lina, focus on three things: what exactly went wrong, how it affected her and her client, and what she seems to need from you now. Afterwards, we will combine several useful phrases from our chunk bank, such as "I am sorry for the inconvenience this has caused" and "Going forward, it would be helpful if…", to write a response that is honest but not emotional, responsible but not dramatic, and very clear about the next steps.

Elements of an effective workplace apology.

When something has gone wrong, a good apology at work usually has five parts:

Thank the person for raising the issue

– "Thank you for being honest about this."

– "Thanks for letting me know so quickly."

Acknowledge the problem and its impact

– "I understand this caused confusion for your client."

– "From your point of view, this must have been frustrating."

Apologise clearly, without over‑drama

– "I am sorry for the inconvenience this has caused."

– "I apologise for the mistake in the figures."

Explain briefly, without long excuses

– "I realised too late that I was working from an older file."

– "I should have double‑checked the totals before sending the slides."

Propose concrete actions and future prevention

– "I have corrected the numbers and attached an updated version."

– "Going forward, it would be helpful if we could have a quick check‑in before finalising client decks."

Here is a model email that follows this pattern:

> *"Hi Lina,

>

> Thank you for being honest about the issue with the figures in yesterday’s presentation. I understand this put you in a difficult position with your client.

>

> I am very sorry for the inconvenience this has caused. I realised that I was working from an older version of the spreadsheet and I did not notice the error in time. I should have double‑checked the totals before sending you the slides.

>

> I have now corrected the numbers and attached an updated deck for you to use. Going forward, it would be helpful if we could have a quick check‑in the day before any client meeting so we can review the key figures together.

>

> Please let me know if there is anything else I can do to support you with this client.

>

> Best regards,

> Alex"*

In the task, you will hear Lina’s voicemail and then write your own email response, following this structure.

Practice & Feedback

Listen carefully to Lina’s voicemail. You can play it several times. As you listen, note:

• What exactly is wrong with the presentation?
• How did this affect Lina and her client?
• What does Lina need from you now?

Then write a short email reply of around 120–160 words. Imagine you are Alex, the person who prepared the presentation.

Your email should:

• thank Lina for raising the concern;
• acknowledge the problem and its impact on her and the client;
• include a clear apology using a phrase like "I am sorry for the inconvenience this has caused.";
• briefly explain what went wrong (without blaming others);
• propose 2–3 concrete actions you will take now and in future (for example, sending an updated version, double‑checking figures, changing your process);
• end with a polite, supportive closing.

Use some of the useful phrases from the screen to keep your tone professional and calm.

5. Adjusting directness for different cultures.

Even if your language is grammatically correct, difficult conversations can still go wrong because of **cultural differences in directness**. What sounds honest and efficient in one culture can sound rude or even aggressive in another. On the other hand, what feels polite to you may sound vague or passive to someone else. In this block, we will look at a short email that is a bit too direct and then think about how to soften it while keeping the message clear. This is especially important when you give feedback to international colleagues. As you read the email, imagine you are Jonas receiving it from your manager. How would you feel? Which sentences sound particularly strong or personal? Then we will practise rewriting some key lines using the softening and future focused phrases we have collected, such as "I hope you do not mind me mentioning this", "From my point of view" and "Going forward, it would be helpful if…". Your goal is not to hide the problem, but to express it in a way that is easier to accept.

Direct vs diplomatic feedback.

Look at this email from a manager to Jonas. Imagine English is not Jonas’s first language and he works in a culture where feedback is usually quite indirect.

> Subject: Your behaviour in yesterday’s meeting

>

> Jonas,

>

> Your behaviour in yesterday’s client meeting was not acceptable. You interrupted the client several times and you talked too much about technical details. You made the whole team look unprofessional. You must stop doing this immediately. In future, do not speak unless I ask you to.

>

> Mark

The content is not completely unfair, but the tone is very strong:

• it attacks the person ("Your behaviour… was not acceptable");
• it uses absolute language ("You made the whole team look unprofessional.");
• it gives an order without any explanation ("In future, do not speak unless I ask you to.").

Now compare a more diplomatic version with the same message:

> Subject: Quick feedback on yesterday’s meeting

>

> Hi Jonas,

>

> I would like to give you some quick feedback on yesterday’s client meeting. First of all, I really appreciate your enthusiasm and your deep technical knowledge. From my point of view, the main issue is that at some points you interrupted the client and gave more technical detail than they needed. This made the meeting feel a bit less professional for the client.

>

> Going forward, it would be helpful if you could wait for the client to finish speaking and keep your answers a bit shorter. If you are not sure how much detail to give, please check with me before the meeting and we can plan who will cover which points.

>

> Best regards,

> Mark

The second version:

• separates the person from the problem;
• explains the impact;
• uses softening words like "from my point of view", "at some points", "a bit less professional";
• focuses on concrete future behaviour ("Going forward, it would be helpful if you could…").

In the activity, you will practise rewriting the strongest sentences from the first email in a more professional, diplomatic style.

Practice & Feedback

Re‑read the first, very direct email from Mark to Jonas in the resource text. Focus on these three sentences, which are especially strong:

1. "Your behaviour in yesterday’s client meeting was not acceptable."
2. "You made the whole team look unprofessional."
3. "In future, do not speak unless I ask you to."

Your task is to rewrite these three sentences so that:

• the meaning is similar, but the tone is more professional and diplomatic;
• you separate the person from the problem;
• you use softening or future focused phrases from this lesson, for example: "From my point of view…", "It would be helpful if…", "Going forward…", "at some points", "a bit".

Write your three new sentences in the box, numbered 1, 2 and 3. Try to imagine that Jonas will read them and feel motivated to improve, not attacked or embarrassed.

6. Simulating your own difficult conversation in chat.

You have now seen this type of situation from several angles: the manager giving feedback, the employee responding, and a colleague raising a complaint. You have also practised softening strong messages and focusing on future solutions. In real life, many difficult conversations start nowadays in **chat tools** like Teams, Slack or WhatsApp. Often you send a short message to open the topic, arrange a time to talk, or share some initial feedback in writing. In this final block, you will bring everything together in a short chat‑style simulation. I would like you to think of a **realistic situation from your own work** or an imaginary one that feels believable. For example, maybe a colleague has been repeatedly late with their part of a project, a team member replied quite rudely to a client email, or your manager has given you feedback that you found confusing. You will write the first few chat messages from your side, using the strategies from this lesson: preparing the ground, using softening language, separating the person from the problem and finishing with a clear, future focused question or suggestion. After you send your messages, I will reply as the other person in the conversation and then give you some feedback on your language. This is your chance to experiment in a safe space, so do not worry about making mistakes. Focus on sounding calm, respectful and clear.

Bringing it all together in a chat scenario.

In many organisations, difficult conversations now begin in written chat before moving to a call or meeting. That first message is important: it sets the tone and can make your colleague feel either attacked or supported.

Here is a short example of how you might start a sensitive chat with a colleague about missed deadlines:

> You (Teams): Hi Alex, do you have a moment? I would like to give you some quick feedback on the marketing reports, if that is OK.

>

> You: First of all, I really appreciate the way you handle last‑minute client requests. You have saved us several times recently.

>

> You: From my point of view, the main issue is that the reports have been coming in a bit later than we agreed, which makes it difficult to prepare for the Monday meeting. Could you help me understand what is making the deadline challenging at the moment?

>

> You: Going forward, it would be helpful if we could find a way to get at least a draft by Friday lunchtime. What do you think?

Notice how this mini‑conversation:

• starts with a permission question: "Do you have a moment?";
• begins with positive feedback;
• describes the issue and the impact in neutral language;
• invites the colleague to share their perspective;
• ends with a future focused suggestion and a question.

Your task.

You will now create a similar chat start for a difficult conversation from your own context. Think of a real or realistic situation and keep it specific. Some ideas:

• You want to give a colleague balanced feedback about their behaviour in meetings.
• You need to respond to criticism from your manager in a calm way.
• You want to apologise to a stakeholder and suggest future changes.

In the activity, you will write 3–5 short chat messages from your side only. After that, you will see how the other person might reply and get language feedback on your messages.

Use phrases from your chunk bank, such as:

• "I hope you do not mind me mentioning this."
• "From my point of view, the main issue is that…"
• "Can you help me understand what happened?"
• "Going forward, it would be helpful if you could…"
• "So we agree that from now on you will…, and I will…"

Practice & Feedback

Choose a realistic difficult conversation that you might need to have at work. For example:

• giving constructive feedback to a colleague;
• responding to criticism from your manager;
• apologising to a stakeholder and agreeing next steps.

Imagine you are starting this conversation in a chat tool like Teams, Slack or WhatsApp.

Write 3–5 short chat messages from your side only. Separate each message on a new line, as in a real chat. Try to:

• open politely and ask for permission (for example: "Do you have a moment…?");
• mention at least one positive point before the problem;
• describe the issue and its impact clearly but diplomatically;
• use softening and future focused phrases from this lesson.

After you send your messages, you will see a possible reply from the other person and receive feedback on your language and tone.