American English for Life and Work in the USA. Lesson 8.
In this lesson you move into more delicate conversations: performance reviews, one-to-ones with your manager, and moments when you need to push back. Through realistic dialogues, you listen for how Americans mix praise and criticism, and how they use softening phrases to introduce concerns. You practice talking about your strengths and growth areas, asking for concrete examples, and checking that you understood expectations. You also try out ways to say no or question a decision without sounding negative or disloyal, and to respond professionally when feedback feels unclear or unfair. Throughout the lesson you compare typical phrases from your own culture with American patterns such as I see your point, but I am not sure that will work or I have a slightly different perspective. By the end, you can handle difficult workplace conversations more calmly, confidently, and strategically.
1. Your First U.S. Performance Review Meeting.
Let us start by stepping into a realistic, and sometimes stressful, situation: your first performance review with an American manager. In this lesson, we will follow Alex, an employee who recently moved to the United States, and Jordan, Alex’s U.S. manager. You will hear parts of their review conversation, notice how praise and criticism are mixed, and pay attention to the softening phrases that make difficult comments sound more constructive.
In this first segment, I want you to focus on the big picture. How does Jordan structure the feedback? Which parts feel positive, and which parts are a bit uncomfortable for Alex? As you listen, do not worry about understanding every single word. Instead, listen for key ideas and for the tone: when does Jordan sound encouraging, and when does Jordan start to move into concerns or expectations?
After you listen, you will write a short summary in your own words. This is exactly what you might do after a real review: capture what went well, what needs work, and how your manager expressed it.
Scene: Alex Meets Jordan for a Performance Review.
Imagine you are Alex. You work as a data analyst in a U.S. company. You have been in this role for almost a year, and today is your annual performance review with your manager, Jordan.
Performance reviews in U.S. offices often mix praise and development areas in the same conversation. Managers may start with positive comments, then introduce concerns or new expectations. They usually try to sound constructive, not harsh, even when the message is serious.
In the audio you are about to hear, Jordan gives Alex a mix of compliments and criticism. Pay attention to how Jordan does this.
Look at some phrases that are common in American feedback conversations:
"I really appreciate the work you have done on…"
"Overall you are doing a great job, especially with…"
"One area I would like to see you grow in is…"
"I want to make sure you are clear on expectations for this role."
"Going forward, it would be helpful if you could…"
Notice how these phrases:
Often start positive.
Use softening expressions like overall, one area, going forward.
Focus on future actions instead of blame.
Your Task in This Block.
In the audio below, you will hear a short part of Alex’s review meeting. Jordan shares both strengths and concerns.
As you listen, ask yourself:
What does Jordan think Alex is doing well?
What does Jordan think Alex needs to change or improve?
Which phrases make the criticism sound polite or supportive, not aggressive?
You will then write a short summary of Jordan’s feedback, in your own words, as if you are writing notes right after the meeting.
Practice & Feedback
Listen to the short performance review conversation at least two times. Take a few quick notes while you listen: key words for strengths, and key words for concerns or expectations.
Then write one short paragraph (4–6 sentences) in your own words. Imagine you are Alex writing notes after the meeting.
In your paragraph, include:
What Jordan says you are doing well.
What Jordan says you should improve or change.
At least one phrase Jordan uses to soften or introduce criticism (for example, something like "one area I would like to see you grow in").
Do not worry about perfect grammar. Focus on capturing the main ideas and the tone of Jordan’s feedback, using clear sentences.
2. Describing Your Strengths and Growth Areas.
Now let us move to your side of the conversation. In many U.S. workplaces, managers expect you to talk about your own performance, not just listen quietly. You are often asked questions like, "What do you think went well this year?" or "What are some areas you want to develop?" If you are used to being very modest, this can feel uncomfortable.
In this block, you will see how Alex prepares for the review by writing a few notes about strengths and growth areas. Notice that Alex does not brag, but also does not hide achievements. The language is confident but not arrogant, and the development areas sound honest and proactive, not negative.
As you read, pay attention to the sentence patterns Alex uses, such as "One strength I bring to the team is…" or "I am working on…". These are reusable templates you can adapt to your own job or studies. After reading, you will briefly summarize Alex’s notes and then write about your own strengths and one area you want to grow in, using similar phrases. This will help you sound natural and prepared in a real review conversation.
Alex Prepares Notes Before the Review.
Before the meeting with Jordan, Alex sits down to prepare. Instead of going in with an empty mind, Alex writes some notes about strengths, progress, and challenges.
Here is an example of Alex’s prep note:
> Strengths
> One strength I bring to the team is reliability. I consistently meet deadlines and follow through on what I promise. I have also improved the accuracy of our reports, which has reduced errors for the sales team.
>
> Progress this year
> I have made a lot of progress on learning our internal tools. At the beginning of the year, I needed help with every complex query. Now I can usually solve problems on my own or find an answer quickly.
>
> Growth areas
> One area I am working on is delegation. I sometimes take on too many tasks myself instead of asking teammates for support. I also want to communicate proactively when a project might be delayed.
Useful Patterns to Reuse.
From Alex’s note, you can copy some very flexible sentence stems:
"One strength I bring to the team is…"
"I have made a lot of progress on…"
"One area I am working on is…"
"I want to get better at…"
"I would like to improve how I…"
These phrases sound confident and forward-looking. You are not saying "I am perfect", and you are not saying "I am terrible". You are saying, "Here is what I contribute" and "Here is what I am actively developing".
Your Task in This Block.
First, you will read Alex’s note carefully one more time in the activity section. Then you will:
Write 1–2 sentences summarizing Alex’s main strengths and one growth area.
Write 3–4 sentences about your own work or studies, using at least one strength phrase and one growth-area phrase from the list above.
This is excellent practice for real performance reviews, one-to-ones with a manager, or even applications for internal opportunities.
Practice & Feedback
Read Alex’s prep note below slowly and carefully. Imagine Alex is your colleague and you are trying to understand how Alex sees their own performance.
Then, write your answer in two parts in one message:
In 1–2 sentences, summarize Alex’s main strengths and one growth area, using your own words.
In 3–4 sentences, describe your own performance in a real or imagined job or study situation. Mention at least two strengths and one area you are working on.
Try to reuse some of the patterns from the note, such as "One strength I bring to the team is…", "I have made a lot of progress on…", or "One area I am working on is…". Focus on sounding confident but not arrogant, and honest but not too negative.
Alex's Prep Note for the Review.
Strengths
One strength I bring to the team is reliability. I consistently meet deadlines and follow through on what I promise. I have also improved the accuracy of our reports, which has reduced errors for the sales team.
Progress this year
I have made a lot of progress on learning our internal tools. At the beginning of the year, I needed help with every complex query. Now I can usually solve problems on my own or find an answer quickly.
Growth areas
One area I am working on is delegation. I sometimes take on too many tasks myself instead of asking teammates for support. I also want to communicate proactively when a project might be delayed.
3. Asking for Concrete Examples and Clarity.
In the previous parts, Jordan gave Alex mixed feedback, and Alex prepared some thoughts about strengths and growth areas. Now we will focus on a very important American skill: asking for **concrete examples** when feedback is vague.
In many cultures, it can feel disrespectful to question your manager. In the U.S., it is usually acceptable, and even appreciated, to ask for clarification, as long as you sound calm and respectful. Questions like "Could you give me a concrete example?" or "When you say X, what do you have in mind exactly?" show that you want to improve, not that you are challenging authority.
You will see a short dialogue where Jordan’s feedback is a bit general, and Alex uses polite questions to get more detail. Then you will practice softening some very direct questions into more natural American-style requests for clarity. This will help you in performance reviews, but also in any situation where expectations are not clear.
Scene: Vague Feedback, Clear Questions.
Later in the same review, Jordan says something that could feel frustrating:
> Jordan: Overall, your collaboration could be better.
> Alex: I see what you mean, and I would like to add something. Could you give me a concrete example of when collaboration was an issue?
> Jordan: Sure. In the last product launch, some teammates felt they only heard from you at the very end.
> Alex: When you say collaboration, are you mainly talking about how often I communicate with the team?
> Jordan: Yes, mostly about keeping people updated along the way.
Notice what Alex does here:
Acknowledges Jordan’s point: "I see what you mean…"
Softly asks for examples: "Could you give me a concrete example…?"
Clarifies the meaning of a key word: "When you say collaboration, are you mainly talking about…?"
Direct vs. Softer Questions.
Look at how these very direct questions can be softened:
Very direct question
Softer, American-style version
Why is my collaboration bad?
Could you give me a concrete example of when my collaboration was a problem?
What exactly do you want me to change?
I would like more clarity on what you would like me to change.
I do not agree with that.
I have a slightly different perspective on that. Could I share it?
Your expectations are not clear.
I would like more clarity on expectations for this role.
The softer versions:
Use could and would instead of "why" or "what" alone.
Include softeners like a bit more clarity, a slightly different perspective.
Focus on understanding and dialogue, not fighting.
Your Task in This Block.
You will now practice rewriting some direct sentences so they sound more natural in a U.S. feedback conversation. This is not about hiding your opinion; it is about expressing it in a way that keeps the relationship positive and the conversation productive.
Practice & Feedback
Read the four very direct sentences in the resource text. Imagine you are Alex in a performance review, and you want to express the same ideas, but in a polite, professional American style.
Rewrite each sentence so it sounds softer and more collaborative. Try to:
Use phrases like "Could you give me a concrete example…?", "I would like more clarity on…", "I have a slightly different perspective on that.", or "I see what you mean".
Keep the meaning of the original sentence, but change the tone.
Write your answers in a numbered list, 1–4, so it is clear which rewrite goes with which original sentence. You can write one or two sentences for each item if needed.
Rewrite these very direct sentences in a softer, American-style way:
Why is my communication a problem?
What exactly do you want me to change?
I do not agree with that.
Your expectations are not clear.
4. Pushing Back and Negotiating Goals Respectfully.
Sometimes feedback meetings are not just about the past. They are also about the future: new goals, targets, or expectations. What happens if your manager suggests something that feels unrealistic? In many U.S. workplaces, you are allowed to push back, as long as you do it respectfully and with solutions in mind.
In this block, you will see how Alex responds when Jordan proposes a very ambitious communication goal. Alex uses some of the key phrases from our lesson, such as "I see what you mean, and I would like to add something" and "Is there any flexibility on those targets?" This combination of understanding, concern, and negotiation is very typical of American professional style.
You will read a short dialogue, then you will write your own short response to an unrealistic deadline. Your job is to balance honesty with politeness: you want to protect your workload and mental health, but you also want to show that you care about the team’s success.
Scene: Negotiating an Ambitious Goal.
At the end of the review, Jordan suggests a new goal:
> Jordan: For next quarter, I would like you to lead communication for all cross-team projects. That means weekly updates to stakeholders and daily check-ins with the product managers.
> Alex: I see what you mean, and I would like to add something. I am happy to take more ownership in this area, but I am not sure that level of daily communication will work with my current workload.
> Jordan: I hear you. What are you thinking?
> Alex: I have a slightly different perspective on that. Maybe we could start with weekly written updates and a short mid-week check-in when a project is high risk. Is there any flexibility on those targets?
> Jordan: That sounds reasonable. Let us try weekly updates for now and revisit in our next check-in.
A Simple Formula for Respectful Pushback.
Notice Alex’s strategy:
Shows understanding and goodwill
"I see what you mean…"
"I am happy to take more ownership in this area…"
Expresses a concern
"I am not sure that will work with my current workload."
Proposes an alternative
"Maybe we could start with…"
Asks about flexibility
"Is there any flexibility on those targets?"
This pattern keeps the conversation collaborative rather than confrontational.
Extra Useful Phrases.
"I would like more clarity on expectations for this role."
"From my point of view, this seems challenging given our current resources."
"Could we look at another option, such as…?"
"Can we talk about growth opportunities for next year as well?"
Your Task in This Block.
In the activity, you will imagine that your manager sets a deadline or target that feels unrealistic. You will write a short response where you:
Thank them for the feedback or opportunity.
Show you understand their goal.
Explain your concern in a calm, factual way.
Suggest at least one alternative or adjustment.
Use at least two soft disagreement or flexibility phrases from this lesson.
Practice & Feedback
Read the short scenario in the resource text. Then imagine you are the employee in that situation, speaking to your manager in a one-to-one meeting.
Write a short mini-speech of 5–7 sentences that you could say in response. You are not writing an email; you are scripting what you might say out loud.
Your mini-speech should:
Start with some appreciation or understanding (for example, "I really appreciate the opportunity…" or "I see what you mean…").
Clearly, but calmly, explain why the goal or deadline feels difficult.
Propose one or two alternative options or adjustments.
Include at least two phrases from this lesson, such as "I have a slightly different perspective on that", "Is there any flexibility on those targets?", or "I would like more clarity on expectations for this role."
Do not worry about making it perfect. Focus on sounding respectful, honest, and solution-oriented.
Scenario: An Unrealistic Deadline.
Your manager says:
> "Next month, I want you to completely redesign our client reporting system while also keeping all of your current projects on the same schedule. Let us aim to have everything finished by the end of the month."
You feel that this is not realistic with your current workload and resources, but you also appreciate that your manager trusts you with an important task.
5. Clarifying Feedback in a Chat with Your Manager.
Performance reviews do not always end when you leave the room. Often, questions and emotions come up later the same day or week. In many U.S. offices, it is common to follow up by chat, using tools like Slack, Microsoft Teams, or Google Chat.
Chat is more informal and shorter than email, but it is still professional. You usually use first names, short messages, and friendly softening phrases like "Quick question" or "Do you have a minute?". It is a great channel for clarifying one or two points from your review without scheduling another full meeting.
In this block, you will see an example of a brief follow-up chat between Alex and Jordan. Then you will write your own chat-style messages as Alex, asking for more clarity and examples about a piece of feedback. I will answer as Jordan later, so think of this as a real conversation: you want to sound curious, open, and proactive, not defensive.
Model: A Short Follow-Up Chat.
After the review, Jordan sends Alex a quick message:
> Jordan: Hey Alex, thanks again for the conversation today. Let me know if any questions come up after you process the feedback.
> Alex: Thanks, Jordan. I really appreciate your feedback and the time you took today.
> Jordan: Of course!
Later that afternoon, Alex wants more detail about the comment on "leadership".
> Alex: Quick question about something we discussed.
> Alex: When you mentioned leadership as a growth area, could you give me a concrete example from this year?
> Jordan: Sure. For example, during the last launch, you did great work, but you waited for me to assign tasks instead of taking more ownership.
> Alex: Got it, thanks for the example. I want to make sure I am meeting your expectations there. Maybe we could talk about some specific leadership opportunities for next quarter?
Noticing the Style.
Chat messages are:
Short: one or two sentences each.
Friendly: "Hey", "Quick question", "Got it".
Still polite and professional: "I really appreciate your feedback", "I want to make sure I am meeting your expectations".
Useful chat phrases from this lesson:
"Quick question about…"
"Could you give me a concrete example of…?"
"I want to make sure I am meeting your expectations."
"Maybe we could talk about…"
Your Task in This Block.
In the activity, you will continue from Jordan’s first message and write your side of a short chat as Alex. Treat it like a real Slack or Teams conversation: several short messages, each on a new line.
Practice & Feedback
Imagine you are Alex and you have just had the same review with Jordan. Jordan sends you the message in the resource text.
Reply in a chat-style conversation with 4–6 short messages, each on a new line, as if you are typing in Slack or Teams.
Your messages should:
Start by thanking Jordan and sounding positive about the feedback overall.
Then politely raise one part of the feedback that felt vague or surprising for you.
Ask for one or two concrete examples using language like "Could you give me a concrete example…?" or "When you say X, what do you have in mind?"
Show that you want to improve and meet expectations (for example, "I want to make sure I am meeting your expectations").
Optionally, suggest a quick follow-up (for example, "Maybe we could touch base next week").
Write only your messages as Alex. I will answer as Jordan after giving you feedback on your language.
Jordan (chat): Hey Alex, thanks again for meeting earlier. Let me know if any questions come up after you process the feedback.
6. Planning Your Own Feedback Conversation Script.
You have now seen several important pieces of American-style feedback conversations: describing your strengths, naming growth areas, asking for concrete examples, and even pushing back or following up by chat. In this final block, you will put everything together in one integrated performance.
Think of this as writing a **personal script** for a future review or one-to-one with your manager. You will not read it word-for-word in real life, but the act of writing helps you organize your ideas and choose language that feels natural and respectful.
I will give you a simple structure: start with appreciation, then talk about your strengths and progress, then mention one or two development areas, then ask for feedback and clarity on expectations, and, if relevant, gently raise one point you see differently. Finally, close with clear next steps and thanks.
Use as many of the key phrases from our chunk bank as you can, such as "I really appreciate your feedback", "One strength I bring to the team is…", "One area I am working on is…", "I have a slightly different perspective on that", and "Let us check in again in a month to see progress." This is your chance to create a script that feels like **you**, but speaks the language of U.S. offices.
Putting It All Together: Your Review Conversation.
You are going to design a short script for a future performance review or feedback conversation. It could be for your real job, a past job, or an imagined role that matches your field.
Here is a mini-model based on Alex’s situation:
> "Hi Jordan, thanks again for taking the time to meet today. I really appreciate your feedback. One strength I bring to the team is reliability; when I commit to a deadline, I usually meet it. I have also made a lot of progress on learning our internal tools this year.
>
> One area I am working on is delegation. I sometimes take on too many tasks myself instead of asking for support. I want to make sure I am meeting your expectations around communication as well. Could you give me a concrete example of a time when I could have communicated more proactively?
>
> I see what you mean about taking more ownership in cross-team projects, and I would like to add something. With my current workload, I am not sure daily check-ins are realistic. I have a slightly different perspective on that. Maybe we could start with weekly updates and see how it goes.
>
> Let us check in again in a month to see progress. Thanks again for being so open in this conversation."
Checklist for Your Script.
Try to include:
Appreciation: thank the manager for time and feedback.
Strengths and progress: 1–2 things you do well, and any progress this year.
Growth areas: 1–2 areas you are working on, with a constructive tone.
Questions for clarity: ask for concrete examples or clearer expectations.
Respectful disagreement (optional): one point where you have a slightly different perspective.
Next steps: suggest a follow-up or check-in.
Mini Rubric.
If this were a real assessment, a strong script would:
Be 8–12 sentences long.
Use at least 3 key phrases from the lesson (for example, "One strength I bring to the team is…", "One area I am working on is…", "I have a slightly different perspective on that").
Sound calm, confident, and respectful, not defensive or passive.
Make it clear what you will do next.
In the activity below, you will write your own script using this checklist.
Practice & Feedback
Now it is your turn to create a full mini-script for a feedback or performance review conversation.
Write 8–12 sentences as if you are speaking directly to your manager in a one-to-one meeting. You can base it on your real job, a past job, or an imagined role that feels realistic for you.
Make sure to:
Start with a sentence of thanks or appreciation.
Mention 1–2 strengths and something you have made progress on.
Describe 1–2 areas you are working on in a constructive way.
Ask for concrete examples or clearer expectations on at least one point.
If relevant, include one respectful disagreement or negotiation, using a phrase like "I have a slightly different perspective on that" or "Is there any flexibility on those targets?".
End with a clear idea for next steps, such as a follow-up check-in.
Try to use at least three phrases from the lesson’s chunk bank. Write your script in one block of text, as if it were notes you will use before a real meeting.
Quick Phrase Bank to Use in Your Script.
I really appreciate your feedback.
One strength I bring to the team is...
I have made a lot of progress on...
One area I am working on is...
I would like more clarity on expectations for this role.
Could you give me a concrete example?
I see what you mean, and I would like to add something.
I have a slightly different perspective on that.
Is there any flexibility on those targets?
I want to make sure I am meeting your expectations.
